silently.screaming

who am i? i am nobody. i am everybody. i am a stranger. i am your best friend. i am your daughter. i am your sister. i am a distant relative. i am worthless. i am replaceable. i am nothing. i am a liar. i am a thief. i am what ever your mind wishes me to be.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Against Me!

—Because Of The Shame

maxq333:

I wrote “Because Of The Shame” for my friend CC who was murdered, actually 2 years ago exactly to this day. Well, I wrote it for her and her mother. I hadn’t seen CC in a couple years when I got word she had been killed. CC and I used to work at the same bar, she was a bartender, I checked I.D.’s at the door and mopped the floors, cleaned the bathrooms at the end of the night. Most of the time we wouldn’t finish up until around 4AM but we’d still hang out for a couple hours after, go back to my house and listen to records, smoke cigarettes, have some drinks, just talk.

I used to have her name tattoo’d on the back of my leg but had it covered up a few years back. She had my name tattoo’d around her wrist. At the funeral her mother asked me if I still had the tattoo. I felt horrible having to tell her no. Later she took me aside and told me that CC thought the song “Thrash Unreal” was written about her, that it had hurt and embarrassed her, that they had talked about it as recently as a week before her death. She made me promise on the spot to write a song that made up for it. So I didn’t sleep for about a week, until I wrote “Because Of The Shame”. 

(Source: fuckyeahmaxqayyum, via serious97)

serious97:

Anxiety, anxiety.You give me no mercy.


Is it bad I cried the first time I saw him sing about anxiety like this?

serious97:

Anxiety, anxiety.
You give me no mercy.

Is it bad I cried the first time I saw him sing about anxiety like this?

when i meet a completely awesome guy on omegle, who’s into all the things i’m into, is going nowhere in life like me, and the overwhelming sadness, when we have to depart ways, knowing that i’ll never see this fantastic human again because we live hundreds of miles away, and he’s a complete stranger, completely like me.

Anonymous asked: can I least have the initials...of who you are?

if you found out of who i am, you would never look at me the same way again. and i don’t want people that i know to really know me.

I love my friends so very much. Especially the few really close ones I have. But sometimes I want to beat some good music sense into them. I understand that a lot of people don’t listen to the kind of music I listen to. But it would be so amazing if at least on person in my entire fucking town listened to the same music as me. 

I love my friends and they know that. But music is a big fucking part of my life, and when I can’t talk to anybody about it, or share with anybody, or listen with anybody, or swap with anybody it makes me depressed. I feel incomplete.

Only at the concerts I go to do I truly feel like I belong. With complete and utter strangers brought together by a common love. It’s a drug. It’s my drug of choice. The push and pull feel of the pit, the magic in the air. It’s so fucking fantastic. It’s the best high ever.

But then it’s over. And then there’s a low. And a crash. And I’m back in my music senseless town where I feel alone. And the quick fix to the empty evaporates. And that void inside me is left open and gaping.

I just wish so hard that one day I can talk to somebody about music, and life, and philosophy, and thought, without them criticizing me, or judging me.

Maybe one day.

I need to see Against Me! again. If I can’t see them headlining in June I will be a very very sad girl.

I’m not an emotional person, I promise.

But I’m so fucking sick of crying.